Thursday, December 31, 2009

Animal collectives

Something that has always fascinated me are names of groups of animals. There are lots more than these, but here are some of my favorites. All of these are real, you can check online if you want.

A shrewdness of apes
A cete of badgers
A battery of barracudas
A sleuth of bears
A sounder of boars
A chain of bobolinks
A wake of buzzards
A pounce of cats
A coalition of cheetahs
A quiver of cobras
A murder of crows
A pod of dolphins
A pitying of doves
A convocation of eagles
A seething of eels
A busyness of ferrets
A flamboyance of flamingos
A company of foxes
A gaggle of geese
A troubling of goldfish
A charm of hummingbirds
A cackle of hyenas
An exultation of larks
A leap of leopards
A pride of lions
A raft of otters
A parliament of owls
A pandemonium of parrots
An ostentation of peacocks
A crash of rhinos
A boogle of weasels
A chime of wrens
A dazzle of zebras

Monday, December 7, 2009

Old habits die hard...TOP 19 ALBUMS OF 2009!

For the last four years, I've been putting together "best-of" music lists around mid-December for the previous year. Well, guess what time it is, and just because I don't have anyone paying me for this one doesn't mean it's not going to happen. Same rules as usual apply: only full-length studio albums whose original release date falls in 2009 are eligible. Please read, agree/disagree, and discuss

1. Third Eye Blind, “Ursa Major” – As a long-time listener, I’ve got to hand it to them—this is not only the best collection of songs the 90s radio rock staples have put together to date, it’s an easy pick for album of the year. From the dramatic opener of “Can You Take Me” to the effervescent acoustic guitar on “Bonfire” to the subtle lyrical wordplay of “One In Ten,” there’s not a clunker in the bunch. Just steer clear of their live show.
2. Lucero, “1372 Overton Park” – As a fan of both the Replacements and the Hold Steady, it’s almost impossible to not love Lucero’s latest. Ben Nichols’s voice rasps like whiskey on granite, with the welcome addition of a “Pleased To Meet Me”-style horn section punctuating the band’s always-excellent brand of bluesy rock. Lucero is a band that never fails to deliver, but on their latest, they’ve completely upped the ante.
3. The Rikters, “The Rikters” – A local scene staple, the Rikters started out strong and have been steadily getting better and better. Their latest self-titled release oscillates between channeling Ted Leo (“Give Me Tonight”), Smoking Popes (“Just Another Love Song”) and Jeff Buckley (“Q&A”), as well as their own blend of sweet, poignant melancholy (the heartbreaking masterpiece “Ava”). Doug Jenkins has one of the most impressive voices in music today, and it’s a mystery why these guys aren’t on top of the rock world yet.
4. Baby Teeth, “Hustle Beach”I’ve been keeping an eye on Baby Teeth for the last three years or so, and their third full-length is a stunner. They’ve cut the guitarist and are back to the original three-piece lineup; but just pop on “Big Schools” (an epic number that would do Springsteen proud) or the menacing “Snake Eyes,” and it’s clear that the group is sounding as huge as ever. If these guys were an import from a European country, Pitchfork would be all over them; as it is, they’re still one of the best bands Chicago has offered in years.
5. P.O.S., "Never Better" – The best thing to hit independent hip hop in years, P.O.S. caught my attention with a lackluster collaboration with the Hold Steady's Craig Finn from 2006's "Audition." Despite the novelty of that track, P.O.S. proved himself an able emcee on the rest of that record, and the horn- and beat-heavy production was nice; on his followup, he outdoes himself on every level. From the intensity of "Let It Rattle" to the wordplay of "Savion Glover" to the exuberant "Goodbye," it seems safe to say "Never Better" is the most aptly-named release of the year.
6. William Elliott Whitmore, “Animals In The Dark” This may be the single most authentic-sounding album I’ve ever heard, with the possible exception of Whitmore’s earlier work. The man, accompanied by his own guitar or banjo and occasionally some sparse percussion, is the very definition of an “old soul,” the fact that he’s not even hit middle age yet notwithstanding. “Hell or High Water” is a hair-raiser, but then again, so’s every other song here.
7. Dinosaur Jr, “Farm” – As good as 2007’s “Beyond” was, “Farm” is better. Way better. As in, possibly the best album the terrible threesome has ever released. J Mascis’s vocals are just as apathetic as ever, but they seem to have more punch on these songs. Also, the songs are some of the best of his career. But it can’t be attributed to Mascis alone—Lou Barlow is still one of the most interesting bassists in rock music, and his return to the fold is welcome indeed (and he contributes his usual two stellar songs to the album as well); and Murph’s jazz-informed drumming was missed from the first moment he left. If you still haven’t heard them yet, this is as good a place to start as any.
8. Them Crooked Vultures, “Them Crooked Vultures” – Oh my goodness yes. No other album released this year rocks so well, and with Homme, Grohl and Jones as the culprits, it’s no wonder. The album stands head and shoulders above any Queens Of The Stone Age release, pummels every other Foo Fighters side project into submission, and the riffs stride with the ballsiest Zeppelin ever recorded. “Mind Eraser No Chaser” is a must, but you may as well grab the whole album.
9. Two Tongues, “Two Tongues” – A scene kid’s wet dream, this collaboration between Saves The Day and Say Anything is actually better than anyone could have predicted. Max Bemis and Chris Conley are both prolific and demonstrative songwriters, but working together has produced something far greater than the sum of its parts. Unfortunately, this album seems destined to be a one-off novelty, the emo equivalent of Temple Of The Dog; whether or not that’s the case, one’s better than nothing.
10. Billy Talent, “Billy Talent III” – I bought their first album on a whim at Target when I was about fifteen. Once I got past the weirdo screams, I was totally sucked into the manic riffing and clever lyrics. The second album had its moments, but lacked the spark that the first one had; “III” finds the Billy boys back on the ball (alliteration win!), with a phenomenally strong batch of songs. These riffs sound like they could break jaws, and vocally this is the group’s most accessible album yet.
11. The Thermals, “Now We Can See” – Any year the Weakerthans don't release an album is a grim year for music...but the Thermals do a nice job of filling in the gaps. And, on their most recent, they do a better than good job. "Now We Can See" is a tremendous batch of hooky, simplistic punk rock with smart lyrics. For fans of the borderline obnoxious, the unabashedly snarky, and the fantastically singable.
12. Pearl Jam, “Backspacer” – I am not, strictly speaking, a Pearl Jam fan. I like a few songs here and there, and I own a couple of albums, but they are not a band I will usually reach for. “Backspacer” is the exception. Sounding more vibrant than I’ve ever heard them, this album just slams from beginning to end. Huge guitars, bellowed vocals, and no shortage of nifty guitar solos all come together brilliantly, and should make the band’s former label regret ever crossing swords with these guys.
13. The Devil Wears Prada, “With Roots Above And Branches Below” – I’ll admit, I was skeptical of this band. The name, in my mind, was synonymous with the Hot Topic clientele: tight pants, guyliner, too much black, you know who I mean. And, let’s be honest, most of that music just isn’t anything that has appealed to me since I was about fifteen. But after hearing from all directions that TDWP was worth looking into, I grabbed this album, and was floored by the experimental, technically-dazzling-but-impossibly-catchy metal coming at me. Plus, with song titles like “I Hate Buffering” and “Danger: Wildman,” how can you go wrong?
14. Vertical Horizon, “Burning The Days” – Sure, I may be biased—Vertical Horizon was my favorite band for years—but “Burning The Days” was one of the most welcome surprises of the year. Since 2004’s lackluster “Go,” I’d more or less lost faith in this band; then the band goes and releases their most accomplished collection to date. Sure, the production is a bit overdone, but lyrically, Matt Scannell is at the top of his game (see “All Is Said And Done,” or “Even Now,” co-written with none other than Neil Pert), and it’s nice to hear Keith Kane’s vocals back in the mix.
15. Brother Ali, “Us” – I’ve thought for years that the Rhymesayers collective consistently produces some of the most interesting hip hop artists around. Granted, Atmosphere (the label’s flagship duo) is a bit hit-or-miss, but albums like “Us” are what makes the label worth following. Produced by Atmosphere’s Ant, the disc sounds like the middle ground between Public Enemy, the Roots, and a raging gospel band. For my money, the best (and most underrated) hip hop album of the year.
16. The Decemberists, “The Hazards of Love”What do you do when your group consistently outdoes itself at every turn, growing from a quirky, arty, hyperliterate indie darlings into grandiose indie sensations? Make the jump to prog rock! At least that’s what the Decemberists did, with their most eclectic outing to date. Song structures? Who needs ‘em! Electric guitars, gospel-tinged backing vocals, and Colin Meloy’s trademark conceptual twists and turns bring this album to a level not even hinted at, even by 2007’s spectacular “The Crane Wife.”
17. Thrice, “Beggars” – This is a band that just refuses to stop changing. From the thrash-metal of their debut to the wildly experimental “Alchemy Index” EPs in 2007, Thrice keeps pushing the envelope. “Beggars” is the group’s least experimental album in years, but it’s still unlike anything they’ve ever done. Eschewing heaviness of any sort, the group focuses on the Almighty Groove on this record—and does it well.
18. Phoenix, “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix” – I don’t think I really like this album as much as most of my friends do, but it’s hard not to mention on this list. These French guys are really good. “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix” features unpredictable (but unbelievably hooky) melodies, unorthodox instrumentation—and the cheekiest album title I’ve seen in a long time.
19. HEALTH, “Get Color” – HEALTH isn’t my usual fare. I don’t generally go for lo-fi noise rock. That’s not to say it’s without merit, it’s just not my thing. But “Get Color” is an album I was waiting on for almost a year. When it finally came out, I bought it as soon as I could scrape together the cash. HEALTH takes electronic music and infuses it with something so screamingly, undeniably organic, human, alive that it’s impossible to ignore. It’s not a pleasant listen, but that’s not the point—this album is the sound of being unapologetically alive in the age of computers.

HONORABLE MENTION:
The Lonely Island, “Incredibad” – Yeah, it’s dumb. Yeah, it’s overplayed. And yeah, the title track is just plain terrible. But hell if it’s not hilarious. The Lonely Island have managed to create possibly the most effective and mainstream musical comedy album since Weird Al Yankovic, and have done it with all original songs. Not for the faint of heart, but worth investing in for anybody who needs a laugh now and again, and isn’t particular about a few naughty words.

Monday, November 2, 2009

"Love in the Time of Swine Flu"

How's that for the title of a book? I've been thinking about writing one for awhile. I don't know what it would be about, but my guess is a love story would figure in somehow. It would probably also be a pseudo-bizarre slice-of-modern-life type of thing, as I am often wont to write. Ideally, I'd like to do some kind of cool multimedia thing--write a book that has an accompanying album or video or something like that--but I figure the first step is to actually start writing the thing and see where it goes.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Elo kiddies

It seems I've started a blog and run out of things to write about almost immediately. My apologies. Hopefully more will follow soon. For now, here's a project I've already had and posted on Facebook awhile back, if anyone cares and actually reads this thing. They were interesting to write, maybe someone will find them interesting to read.

"Bad Horsie"

The siren sounds. The rhythmic cadence grinds to a start like an engine in desperate need of maintenance, like
thunder that’s having a particularly bad day. Something bad is about to happen, but it sure is taking its sweet ass god damn time.


"Press Play"

The suit hangs on the wall, a futuristic disco party in and of itself. No one is fit to wear it, least of all he who owns it. There are important happenings afoot, but no one cares—the suit is the center of attention. Cocktails float about the room, but no one claims them.


"Slow Motion"

The alley is empty, almost peaceful. In years past, there was a house at the end, but history had rubbed out its existence, reducing it to weeds and, inexplicably, old tires. The moon hangs in the sky like an overdone cliché, but even ugly things look beautiful by moonlight.


"Dark Prince"

FADE IN
CUT TO: An overhead shot of a car chase on a crowded freeway. A black Mercedes weaves in and out of traffic while police scramble to close in from all directions, and other drivers scramble to get out of the way.
CUT TO: Inside shot of a police car. The officer in the driver’s seat looks despondent.
AUDIO FADE IN: Rising applause.
CUT TO: Close up of the officer’s face. Slow grin.
CUT TO: Police car swerving out of traffic, off a bridge into the water.
AUDIO CUE: Applause up and out.
FADE OUT

“The Instrumental”

Boats have dreams too, you know. Dreams of seagulls and fish and pirates and other suitably boat-y things, but the really fantastic dreams are those about the other world. The catamaran dreams nightly of business lunches and mornings in church. The speedboat takes somnambulant journeys to shopping malls and grocery stores, carefully filling carts with loose-fitting jeans and canned vegetables. The stately yacht’s nocturnal meanderings frequently find him ambling into a shop on Manhattan Boulevard to be fitted for a very fine suit. The rowboat dreams of one day saving the world.


“Better Much Better”

His head was fucked, he couldn’t see straight, and conversation was like one of those rigged amusement-park games that you can’t win, but for some reason he kept trying. Please stop the carnival, I’d like to get off. Now he was looking for a way out of this state of mind, a ticket to sobriety to get him through the night. He’d really been worked over. He drank the water, shrugged it all off again, and started from the top. His head was fucked…


“ATM Drugstore”

Little kids know where it’s at. You can spend whole afternoons on nothing, pretending to be parents or pirates or parrots or patients. You can spend hours with your guys and dolls, inventing stories that are never written but are still concrete and absolute. You can say, without a trace of irony that you want to be a cowboy when you grow up. Hell, you can even say you want to be the horse.

“El Cangrejo”

The bag was taunting him. His gloves were like hammers, like lightning, like hammers of lightning. He swore, one of these days he’d beat that sonofabitch.


“Oscar Wilde”

He closes his eyes, fighting against his own lungs for air. All his life, he’d tried to have it all, living only in the moment, never truly accomplishing anything, yet treating the whole world as his oyster. And he’d hated it. So he’d changed. He’d accomplished much in the last ten years, striving to further not only his own life, but the lives of those around him. But still, he’d learned to hate it. So there he was, eyes tight, struggling to breathe against the realization that contentment was no more real than unicorns and happiness as substantial as the sunlight that occasionally carried it, and he hated it, and he hated it, and he hated it.

We are all our own devil.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Boy With The Moon And Stars On His Head

So I think I'm going to do some recording, next time I get a break. I've been thinking about it for awhile, and even though I haven't written any new songs in awhile, there are a couple of old songs I'd really like to do a better job of recording. I've been listening to the solo albums by Tom Gabel and Trever Keith a lot lately, and I really dig the spare, sparse programmed drum thing they've got on their records, so I think I'll do something like that. I play enough instruments at this point to keep it interesting, I'd say. Probably some Consolation Prize songs, some FHOA songs, some Hermit Colony songs, maybe even a cover or two, just cobble stuff together on my dad's home recording gear and see how it turns out. I love music and playing in bands, but I've been doing it for long enough that I'd like to put my own name on something. I have no set schedule for this, but I'm guessing possibly I'll start laying the foundations in November or December. If anyone would like to play an instrument on it, let me know--even if you live far away, we can Postal Service it up, where I'll send you the WAV file and the tempo, you record your piece and send it back to me.

Any ideas?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Maybe this is what I'll write about...

Today at school was intense. Student teaching, in general, is definitely the most intense, challenging, difficult, frustrating thing I've ever done. But that's okay, because even when things go wrong, I find myself getting excited at ways I can keep that same thing from going wrong in the future. Post-it notes, pocket folders, binder clips...I never thought I'd be so excited about organizational stationary. I'm definitely looking forward to my own classroom, but I'm also sure glad I've got this transition period--kind of a trial-by-fire, but with a safety net.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

This is where I write things.

So, I don’t really know how to blog. I think I’ve got a handle on the Twitter thing, and I can re-post dumb Facebook notes, and I used to be all about Myspace bulletins back when I still did that whole thing, but the last time I actually tried having a blog, it just turned into venting about all the perceived injustices in my frustrating teenage life. I think that’s what happened to 80% of LiveJournals back then though, so I’d say it’s more or less okay.
Anyway, I don’t know what this will wind up being. I imagine I’ll probably post stuff about interesting movies or music I come across, because I like talking about that kind of thing. If I find the time to write any prose or poetry, I’d guess it’ll wind up here as well. I might use it as one more avenue to promote my band, if something suitably exciting comes along. Even nerdy-exciting teacher stuff might find its way here, who knows? So yeah, tell all your friends, pay attention to what I think about stuff because my opinion is important, and here we go…