Sometimes ALL times call for desperate measures...

So, I've gotten it into my head that I want a tablet. I don't usually get ideas like this, but I just haven't been able to shake it. I've been entering contests in the weirdest places (I'm now a member of the Redbook Book Club, and that's one of the more understandable ones), and keeping my fingers crossed. One of the things I'm learning is how many different kinds of tablets are out there. Another thing I'm learning is, I weirdly enough don't have one specific one in mind that I'd like to have.

One of the websites I didn't think I'd ever visit is FeistyFrugal.com. Definitely not my usual online haunt (it seems pretty totally geared towards moms, for one thing), but there's some legitimately interesting content on their site. Now, I'll admit that I'm blogging about this particular tablet contest because it gets me another entry into the contest, but the entry is not based on what I write about them--so when I say it's an interesting site, that's not me brown-nosing for points. It's definitely not my cup of tea, but it could be worth checking out.


http://feistyfrugalandfabulous.com/2011/08/next6-tablet-giveaway/comment-page-17/#comment-226623

This has been fun...

...but it just isn't working. Going to try again. It seems like Tumblr is the place to be, so we'll see if the layout works a little better for me. Check out www.writeharder.tumblr.com. Thanks for sticking with me.

What kind of music can you just not stand to listen to?

Twangy, pandering, generic, drivel that passes for popular country music. The kind that features singers singing words that glorify anti-intellectualism and talk about "good ol' boys" and equate "simplicity" with "honesty," and pronounce those words improperly. The kind of country without soul, the kind of country you hear on the radio blaring out of pickup trucks with those despicable decals of Bill Watterson's Calvin character peeing on something. The kind of country music that plays at bars and makes girls in low-cut shirts and pink cowboy hats go nuts. I absolutely can not stand it.

Ask me anything

A rather routine update

I don't entirely know why, but I feel like writing this morning. Not to express anything particularly deep or revealing, but just to get into the habit of writing again.

I miss writing music reviews. I think I might start doing that, just for kicks. I imagine I'd probably post them at www.obviatemedia.net rather than here, because it seems at least marginally less self-serving that way. The downside is, a lot of the music so far this year has been disappointing, and I'd really like to write a positive review. I've got hopes for some stuff coming out in the next few months though, so we'll see.

Well, I guess that just about does it for me. I wasn't sure how long this would be when I started, but now that I've made plans to start writing more regularly, I feel better.

Nearly Impossible

Sometimes I like thinking about things that are impossible, and how I'd do them. Nothing huge, like defying the laws of physics or committing the perfect crime, but smaller, potentially more satisfying things. Things like somehow making sense of some of my parents' reasoning. Well, here's the good news--I'm not delusional. I know some things are impossible. But that didn't stop me from trying to figure out how to make them happen. So, here are my current theories on some impossible situations.

1. MAKE A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH CARRY ON A REASONABLE CONVERSATION: For anyone who doesn't know, the parishioners of the WBC are the nuttiest, most misguided, most absolutely-batshit-effing-insane people on the face of the planet. From what I can tell, they think that every time some seriously bad shit happens, it's God lashing out at everyone who doesn't conform to their rigid definition of a "good person," which means not only a heterosexual, patriarchal, Christian, but someone who not only disapproves of, but actively HATES everyone who is not all of those things, mixed with a substantial helping of THIS MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE THEY'RE CRAZY. Anyway, after the shooting at NIU, Westboro was making plans to protest the memorial services, and actually did picket the funerals of the six people killed.

My plan: I wouldn't trust myself not to punch the person in the face if I tried to carry this conversation out in person, so it would have to be on the phone. I would probably have to feign interest in their philosophy, ask for clarification rather than challenging their views, because there is no possible way to make these people back down. After engaging in sympathetic discourse, I would try to slip in a couple of dissenting opinions, eventually building to the question of why they feel the need to mess with absolutely everyone, especially people who have already been turned upside-down in a monumental way. Will it work? Probably not, but it's fun to think about.

2. DISCOVER THE FORMULA FOR WRITING HIT SONGS: From what I can tell, there are five things that make hit songs:

-Super slick production

-Some kind of repetitive hook

-An emotional appeal

-A sweet music video

-Absolute TONS of promotional funding

My plan: Combine all of the above to create a MEGASONG. I'd probably hire Butch Walker to produce, Chris Lord-Alge to mix. For a hook, it can be anything, so for the sake of argument, I'll use the line "It can be anything." Imagine that being sung in a soaring, super-dramatic type of way. Got it? Good. Next, let's settle on an emotional appeal. Vampires are super popular right now via Twilight, so let's make the song be about adolescent insecurity and the desire to be loved. "It can be anything," even a vampire, right? Awesome. The music video would, naturally, have shitloads of vampires in it. If possible, Rob Zombie to direct, but tone down the gore, focus on the moody atmosphere aspect. Now, assuming we're able to secure tons of money to promote this thing, doesn't it seem like we've got a massive hit on our hands?

No?

Yeah, probably not...

3. FINALLY CONVINCE SOMEONE THAT DAVE GROHL IS A BETTER SONGWRITER THAN KURT COBAIN: Kurt was damn good at what he did, you'll get no argument from me. He wrote songs that spoke to the disaffected middle class youth, the people who were fed up with being treated as insignificant, the people who wanted their hardships to be noticed and sympathized with. Kurt did all that. He also stripped all the pretension out of songwriting, and made it approachable--anyone could write songs using the same ingredients Kurt used. The problem is, after four albums, that formula gets a bit old. While it's impossible to underplay their cultural significance, Nirvana songs and albums kind of blend together to me. After Kurt was gone, Dave decided to take the songs he'd been doing on the side and bring them to the forefront. He's been doing it for sixteen years now.

My plan: Kurt was great, as I've already said. But while Dave's songs cover all the same bases as Kurt's (listen to the Foo Fighters' self-titled record if you don't believe me), he kept pushing himself to grow beyond that. Eventually, his songs went beyond angst and alienation, and pushed to romance ("Walking After You"), optimism ("Learn To Fly"), and even existential imagery ("Virginia Moon"). In fact, Dave wrote a better song about Kurt's messed-up life than Kurt ever managed ("Friend Of A Friend"). Without trying to downplay Kurt's greatness, Dave wins in my book.

Major life decision

I've decided I want to live until the nation's tricentennial in 2076. This will put me at 88 years old. I think I can make it. That is all for now.

On breaks

I'm on break at work as I write this, and it's interesting how different my thought process is while on break than at any other time. How long do I have left? What should I do? Will I be able to make it through the rest of the shift? Instead of enjoying the time off, it suddenly becomes almost more stressful than staying at work would be. The one major advantage to a break is not having to work--but this is offset by not being paid. It's interesting how different my outlook is while on break versus when I get out of work for the day. Yet still, for some reason, I enjoy my breaks. I'd go crazy without them on long double-shifts like today. I wonder if there's anything of value to these wonderings...